For Chenai Bukutu, hosting is less about perfection and more about creating a space where people feel truly welcomed. As the founder and lead planner of ByChenai Events, the London-based planner has built a global reputation for crafting refined celebrations that blend luxury with warmth and personality. Since launching her business in 2017, Chenai has been recognized by several lifestyle publications as one of the top wedding planners in the world—an honor that reflects both her creative eye and her deep understanding of what makes gatherings meaningful.

But long before she was planning weddings professionally, Chenai was hosting parties of her own. From her legendary annual Christmas gatherings to birthday celebrations that double as gratitude-filled reunions with loved ones, hosting has always been central to how she connects with people. In this edition of Host How I Host, Chenai shares the rituals, playlists, and small details that transform a dinner party into a memorable experience.

Q: Where do you start when planning a gathering at home?

A: The occasion sets the tone for me and the rest follow. If it's a low key gathering with friends, I'll set a more informal menu and scale back the decor because the primary goal is connection. For a milestone or special occasion, a theme will dictate the menu, the cocktails, the decor, the music—it becomes a far more curated affair.

It’s a helpful reminder for hosts: clarity of occasion simplifies every decision that follows.

Q: What’s your favorite way to break the ice at a party?

A: I used to throw an annual Christmas party where everyone had to bring a single friend. They were also responsible for introducing them on arrival. My role was to provide a welcoming environment, drinks in hand on arrival and ensuring throughout the evening they were well looked after. Nobody came on their own. Everyone had a hype person to ease them in and break the ice. I loved watching the connections form and made some great new friends and acquaintances this way. I may have also been responsible for a love match or two!

It’s a simple hosting trick that works surprisingly well. By ensuring every guest arrives with someone who can introduce them, the entire room immediately feels more relaxed and connected.

Q: If you had a limited budget for a dinner party tablescape, what would you prioritize?

A: Any element that can provide maximum impact—interesting linen colour, texture or pattern with thoughtful lighting being key. Low overhead room lighting and balanced candle lighting on the table makes such a difference. I’d still include little touches that make guests feel considered, like handwritten or calligraphed place cards. I’d also include a pop of floral. Anyone with a garden can pick blooms when in season and add these in. My hosting style overall is one of comfort and joy. I love to style a table and whilst my event style is luxurious, my preference at home is to be more informal.

For Chenai, thoughtful touches matter more than elaborate setups. Lighting, texture, and small personal details can instantly elevate a table.

Q: What makes a great gathering memorable?

A: A wonderful group of people, good food, fabulous drinks and a killer playlist. An occasion where guests have felt welcomed, where as a host you’ve had the opportunity to enjoy as well as feel the satisfaction of seeing your guests appreciate being well looked after.

When hosts can relax and enjoy their own party, the energy of the entire evening changes.

Q: What advice would you give someone feeling overwhelmed about hosting?

A: Preparation is key. Ensure your home is tidied and organised the day before or before any cooking begins.

Choose a simple menu if you are not a confident cook that has elements you can prepare in advance. Ensure the music is on well before guest arrival. This is as much for you as it is for setting the vibe.

Batch as much as you can. Cocktails and snacks for example—having pre-made and batched elements massively helps the flow of service during a gathering.

If the budget allows for a larger gathering, bringing in some help—whether to clean and clear as you go along or serve drinks—relieves you of that pressure and gives you time back with your guests.

Q: What is your signature recipe to serve when hosting?

A: Food: I consider myself a decent cook, so there hasn’t been a recipe to defeat me yet!

Drinks: Tequila is my favourite spirit and I love making Tequila and Ting—a very simple take on a paloma-style cocktail.

Ingredients

Grapefruit soda (preferably Ting), chilled
A double shot of any good blanco tequila
A squeeze of fresh lime juice
A squeeze of fresh grapefruit juice
Pinch of kosher salt
Grapefruit wedge or slice (for serving) and ice

Q: What’s your go-to soundtrack for a dinner party at home?

A: See this playlist

Q: What is your favorite party trick when hosting?

A: Nothing groundbreaking—show your guests you’ve considered them, their tastes and provide a warm and welcoming space. Don’t host if you’re not in the mood for it. As the host you set the tone. Start with a small gathering if you’re not an experienced party thrower to avoid overwhelm.

Sometimes the most effective hosting trick is simply making people feel genuinely welcome.

Q: What do you love about Partytrick?

A: My favourite Partytrick features are those that help make the process seamless and enjoyable for hosts. The checklists, timelines and event plans remove guesswork and give solid guidance for those who may not be the most experienced hosts.

Q: What is the most memorable party or gathering you've attended or hosted? Why?

A: My annual Christmas party where everyone had to bring a single friend. I also love celebrating my birthday. My mama spoiled me early on and I can't recall a year I haven't thrown a party. For me, it's more than just an opportunity to mark the blessing of another year. It's also my way of showing gratitude to those nearest to me who have made my life richer. It's as much a "thanks for getting me here" as much as a "yay for another year!"

Q: What are your favorite products or brands to use when hosting?

A: I try as best as I can to shop locally to me in London. I am fortunate to have the famous Portobello Road Market and many brilliant homewares brands on my doorstep.

I can literally shop for my entire food and beverage menu from local market traders and shops, as well as picking up beautiful home and table essentials from the likes of Summerill and Bishop or The Cloth Shop.

‍

Get inspired by Chenai’s approach to gathering by following her on Instagram @bychenai or exploring her work online at ByChenai Events. Ready to host something of your own? Partytrick makes planning beautifully simple, with curated templates, smart checklists, and everything you need to organize your event in one place. Create a free Partytrick account and start bringing your next gathering to life.